Some time ago a friend and I were discussing the topic of prayer and we came to the subject of progress in the spiritual life. I confided that I didn’t like the term very much because it reminded me of a progress bar on a computer, and how am I supposed to know where I am in the spiritual life? It seemed that in order for me to assess whether I was “progressing”, I needed to have a comprehensive view of the spiritual life—a task only possible for God, Infinity Himself. I felt perpetually at 1% (or 10% tops, if at all!), and my melancholic self tended toward depression.
Then several weeks after, I went on a retreat where I brought my thoughts to the Lord and resistance to the term “progress” in the spiritual life. He led my thoughts to the seven mansions of St. Teresa of Avila, and reminded me of the seventh mansion where transforming union takes place. Eureka!
Saint Teresa speaks of our “interior castle” made up of seven rooms where we journey inward towards deeper intimacy with God, culminating in the seventh room or mansion where transforming union abides. What is it? In this stage, the soul shares a complete union of wills with her Maker. She is also perfected in Charity, for God is Love (1 Jn 4:8).
Then it occurred to me, when is progress at play? When there is an increase of the perfection of charity. I progress when I grow in my intimacy with God and I’m able to forget myself in loving Him and my neighbor. Then the word progress didn’t seem so daunting anymore because instead of seeing the malware in my soul, I saw the weaknesses of my soul as opportunities for growth in my intimacy and love of God. And I’m not stuck at 1% because it is God who draws me to Himself!
Blessed be God forever—who heals us as he wounds! (Job 5:18)
